just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
