I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize