love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
