There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
