I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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