just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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