One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
