You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize