So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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