i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
