I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
