There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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