you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
