how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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