No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize