yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
