I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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