Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
