5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
