I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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