i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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