Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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