no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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