Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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