I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
