capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
