Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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