do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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