Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize