she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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