i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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