My room smells like vodka and shame
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize