Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
