Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
