"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
