I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
