he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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