you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
