You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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