he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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