True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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