He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
