guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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