dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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