you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
