What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
