Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize