I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I didn't notice because vodka
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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