So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
