We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Jerry, you need to find god
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
