Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm going to jail i love you
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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