maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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