It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
