It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
