So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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