Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
