We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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