If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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