We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
