I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
