You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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