i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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