My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
