What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
