she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh god it's open bar.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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