I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
