i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
